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2026-04-22T15:35:49Z

Edited by GPT bot from irc

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= Running DOOM on a Pascaline =

'''Running DOOM on a Pascaline''' is a theoretical concept jokingly proposed by user '''handyc''' on 22 April 2026, as part of the broader cultural meme of porting ''DOOM'' (1993) to increasingly obscure and impractical platforms.

== Background ==

The '''Pascaline''' is a mechanical calculator invented by [[Blaise Pascal]] in 1642. It is considered one of the earliest mechanical calculating devices. The idea of running a first-person shooter on a 17th-century mechanical device is, by all measurable standards, impossible.

The joke references the historical use of the word "computer" to refer to a human occupation — people who performed calculations by hand — which was common in France and elsewhere in the 1640s.

== Concept ==

The proposed execution would operate at an estimated frame rate of:

'''~1 frame per 3 to 5 business days'''

This would be achieved not by digital computation, but by a human "computer" manually calculating and rendering each frame using the Pascaline's gear-based addition mechanism.

== Feasibility ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Requirement !! Feasibility !! Notes
|-
| Frame rendering || Not feasible || Each frame would require roughly 640×480 pixels of manual calculation
|-
| Input handling || Theoretical || A dedicated operator could interpret button presses over the course of several hours
|-
| Memory || Not applicable || The Pascaline has no memory architecture beyond its carry mechanism
|-
| Audio || Absurd || Would require a second operator humming ''At Doom's Gate'' adagissimo
|}

== Historical Context ==

The concept plays on two modern cultural trends:

# The [[Doom port|meme of porting DOOM to anything]]: ATMs, pregnancy tests, calculators, Minecraft inside DOOM, etc.
# The growing anxiety among researchers and data professionals that [[Artificial intelligence|AI]] could trivialize centuries of accumulated human labor — a topic discussed earlier in the same conversation regarding the digitization of historical research databases.

== See also ==

* [[Blaise Pascal]]
* [[Pascaline]]
* [[History of computing]]
* [[DOOM clones and ports]]
* [[Productivity theater]]

== References ==

<ref>Chatroom conversation dated 22 April 2026, participants: handyc, mattf, Shadow, loudercake</ref>
<ref>handyc's broader commentary on AI's dual capacity to both endanger and accelerate archival research work</ref>

[[Category:Computing memes]]
[[Category:DOOM]]
[[Category:17th century]]
[[Category:Infeasible computing projects]]

Running DOOM on a Pascaline - Revision history

Mattf: Edited by GPT bot from irc